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Life as a flower seems beautiful and horrifying. | + 24 more...
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When they die the composers become decomposers. | + 27 more...
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Apple soup made with bone broth is bone apple tea | + 25 more...
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Botox is a performance enhancing drug for poker. | + 26 more...
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Light beer weighs the same amount as regular beer | + 28 more...
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Pets are the grownups’ version of having teddies | + 24 more...
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In a skeleton fight, every fracture is exposed. | + 24 more...
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In videogames, intrusive thoughts always win | + 27 more...
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The ritual of making your bed predates beds. | + 28 more...
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We are all astronauts, earth is our ship | + 26 more...
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It feels weird being the same age as old people! | + 24 more...
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We trust the back of our seats way too much | + 26 more...
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Any site is a dating site if you’re brave enough | + 25 more...
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A candle exists in all 4 states of matter at once | + 26 more...
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Camping is technically being homeless for fun. | + 28 more...
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You only have a lap while you’re sitting. | + 26 more...
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Pets are the grownups’ version of having teddies | + 26 more...
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Original Tupperware will likely outlast all of us | + 26 more...
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Secret admirers were just stalkers all along. | + 25 more...
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Gen Alpha kids can legally drive in some places. | + 26 more...
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People named Ted are always performing Ted Talks. | + 24 more...
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We frown on nepotism but praise family businesses | + 28 more...
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Dave and busters is adult chuckee cheese | + 25 more...
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First you learn to read, then you read to learn. | + 26 more...
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The sharpest blade is the one you’ll never feel. | + 26 more...
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Rabbits are the mammal version of grasshoppers | + 27 more...
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Common sense is appearantly not that common | + 27 more...
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Safety instructions are written in blood. | + 28 more...
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Chopsticks are the solution to plastic cutlery. | + 28 more...
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Divorce rate among socks is astonishingly high | + 25 more...
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You see more suns at night than in the daytime. | + 25 more...
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Cell phones in movies never have cases. | + 28 more...
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Nothing we ever do has a 100% chance of survival | + 25 more...
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Your windshield doesn't know why you scream at it | + 26 more...
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A LEGO set is really a puzzle with instructions | + 25 more...
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It feels weird being the same age as old people! | + 28 more...
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Lunchables are charcuterie boards for kids. | + 25 more...
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Robot errors are still caused by human error | + 25 more...
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The antithesis of plot armor is a red shirt. | + 26 more...
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Arms for your chairs are chairs for your arms | + 25 more...
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It's impossible to live in an abandoned building. | + 25 more...
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One day you will have your last bite of pizza. | + 26 more...
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It’s more acceptable to wear 0 shoes than 1 shoe | + 27 more...
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Every store is a museum when you’re broke | + 24 more...
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You do not see keyboards with lowercase letters. | + 26 more...
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Arcades are a way for children to gamble legally | + 28 more...
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When a person dies, their will is their loot drop | + 27 more...
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Technology can hinder natural evolution in humans | + 27 more...
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Giraffes have nowhere to hide during a storm. | + 27 more...
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Forest are either really relaxing or really scary | + 28 more...
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1981 and 2024 are as far apart as 1981 and 1938 | + 27 more...
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Most people's organs will never see sunlight. | + 24 more...
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People can still die from succesful CPR | + 25 more...
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Paprika is the savory version of cinnamon | + 24 more...
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Technically, everyone is full of themselves. | + 25 more...
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at a certain age you just stop getting tickled | + 27 more...
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The average person is dead. | + 26 more...
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The first guy to milk a cow just had to be drunk. | + 24 more...
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Google uses you a lot more than you use Google | + 24 more...
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Food abuse kills more people than drug abuse does | + 27 more...
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Undercover cops are civilian impersonators. | + 28 more...
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Our sleep ability has a cooldown. | + 25 more...
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Many people sleep to escape their nightmare. | + 24 more...
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We dress up for people we want to be naked with. | + 28 more...
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Cutting corners just adds more corners. | + 27 more...
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You never actually put dirty laundry on an airer | + 24 more...
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Roses are red, but violets aren't blue. | + 27 more...
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Binaca use in movies has really fallen off | + 24 more...
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Crazy how your nipple are older than your teeth | + 25 more...
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Location is all that separates a walk from a hike | + 25 more...
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Snow White’s father was an abuse enabler. | + 26 more...
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Word searches must be so much funner in braille. | + 26 more...
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It's easier to be vulnerable to a stranger because you can't hurt a stranger the way you can hurt a loved one | + 26 more...
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Most people with athletes foot are not athletes. | + 28 more...
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the easiest boiled egg to make is the hard ones. | + 24 more...
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The human hand is perfectly evolved to pet dogs | + 25 more...
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Woodpeckers are the jackhammers of the forest | + 24 more...
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Once news ceases to be news, it becomes history. | + 24 more...
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You have a new first word every language learned | + 24 more...
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Peanuts turn into peanut butter as you chew them | + 24 more...
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Trees make flat land bearable for living | + 26 more...
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Earth has more first world problems than Mercury. | + 28 more...
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Most people in the world don’t have 4 seasons | + 27 more...
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Most cars will never be upside down. | + 26 more...
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It’s more acceptable to wear 0 shoes than 1 shoe | + 25 more...
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Crazy how your nipple are older than your teeth | + 26 more...
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A ton of elephants isn't a ton of elephants | + 27 more...
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A chicken is an egg's way of making another egg. | + 25 more...
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Matching socks up on laundry day is a mini game. | + 28 more...
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An old guy is older than an older guy. | + 27 more...
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There's no gangsta way to get out of a hammock | + 24 more...
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A cyclops wouldn’t have any depth perception. | + 25 more...
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Nothing is universally scary to everyone. | + 27 more...
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There’s a thin line between a pet and a hostage | + 27 more...
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You likely don’t notice the smell of your house. | + 24 more...
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They need to put a timer next to traffic lights. | + 25 more...
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Octopi and mushrooms give off the same energy | + 28 more...
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The tooth fairy teaches us to sell our bodies | + 24 more...
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An orgasm is easier to fake than a sneeze | + 28 more...
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We pretend to make babies to feel good | + 28 more...
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